Teaching your child how to play with friends with special needs

Introducing your child to new friends can be an anxious experience for parents.

“Will my child share or take turns?”

“Are they going to use their manners?”

“Will they listen?”

These questions are generally at the forefront of parents’ minds, and if you’re introducing your child to a child with special needs, they may have additional questions that you don’t have the answer to.

“As parents, we’re not always going to be with our children and we really want to set them up for success in interacting with their peers,” says Lori Warner, Ph.D., director of the Ted Lindsay Foundation HOPE Center and Center for Human Development.

Part of that success comes from teaching your child how to play something they didn’t choose or being polite in following somebody else’s lead. Dr. Warner believes teaching your child not only to lead, but how to be good at following others’ leads, is an essential life skill.

“Families with a child with special needs tell us all the time that they wish other parents would ask them ahead of a playdate or group gathering, ‘Is there anything we should be mindful of’ or ‘how can we make this event fun for everybody’,” explains Dr. Warner.

The best way to learn is to enter any new situation coming from a place of understanding - every child is different. This is one of the areas Dr. Warner and her team at the newly-opened Ted Lindsay HOPE Center offer: Teaching children of all ages to help face social challenges they may face. These social skills groups help children understand perspective.

Dr. Warner says, “Everyone looks and acts differently. We can introduce the concept of being sensitive to everyone’s feelings and abilities and enjoy new, unique ways to live and play."

Additional suggestions for helping your child play well with others:

• Learn if your child’s friend has a special toy or game they like to play with. Letting your child know to be respectful of that item can help ease unnecessary stress.
• Learn any activities/behaviors that could potentially spoil the mood of the get-together – too many people, too much noise, changes in plans or routines.
• Chances are your children have more in common than you think. Help them find those common interests and watch them open up with each other.
• Interactive toys or games, such as Pokemon Go or even Mad Libs, can be great for encouraging cooperation and building a bond.